Money is a funny thing. A hundred bucks doesn't seem like much when you have it in the bank. Where as a dime may as well be the mother lode when you're stuck short at the drive-thru window at McDonalds. It's all relative. Well, recently I stumbled across two articles in the USA Today (admittedly a favorite web site of mine for research) that screamed at me concerning this relative money thing. George Bush announced his campaign fund coffers have reached a record breaking 52 million dollars. This is more than any candidate has ever garnered for a single election. Adding this to his victory in that silly Republican straw pole thing months ago, it is plain to see that Bush is on his way to a series of victories that will likely lead to the Oval Office.

Wow. 52 million. That's a lot of money. And to think not one dime comes from governmental supplements.

Now for the fun part. The previous record for campaign funds was 43 million dollars, set by Bill Clinton who went on to enjoy consecutive terms. Well that's where the second article comes into play.

Last year Clinton went to Africa for a 12 day tour of the continent pressing the flesh and generally trying to assure himself that these countries will support him on his next bombing run of Iraq.

The trip cost 43 million dollars.

And every single dime of it came from your generous tax "donations".

A White House spokesperson just seeing the controversy here mitigated the outrageous expenditure as "necessary international travel"

Hmm, necessary, huh? Okay, here are some fun statistics for ya Mr. Spokespersonů

In addition to Airforce One and the support craft around the big plane there were 13 helicopters, over 1,300 people and enough smaller airplanes to fly over 200 missions. Broken down that's over one hundred people per helicopter. And enough air flights to explore each African nation 20 times over. In 12 days.

In short, Bill Clinton wasted enough dough to choke three yaks and a goat on crack.

So, I figure he spent 43 million getting to Washington and has now spent 43 million to get the hell out.

But what's worse is we footed half the trip.

And we didn't even get a lousy T-shirt!

Now the Clinton fan's can say, "what's to stop George Bush from doing the same thing when HE'S President?" Well, to that clever little question I ask this one, "what was to stop Clinton from doing it in the first place?"

This is the dude who said we had a budget surplus a year ago and that surplus would go to things like, oh I don't know: SOCIAL SECURITY? MEDI-CARE? SCHOOLS? I don't recall "stomping around Ethiopia and frowning at the skinny people" being on that proud list of things to do with all this extra money we found lying around.

I understand the importance of foreign connections and the hardships it takes to keep other countries on our side of the RISK board but 43 millions dollars in less than two weeks?

Who are you, Ivan Boesky?

Look, Bush may not be the answer for this country but a president that waffles so much he should be working for the International House of Pancakes isn't even an option on the test.

Not even the bubbled letter E.

Folks, money isn't everything but like I said, when you don't have it, it becomes a pretty big damn issue.

But I guess issues aren't on Clinton's mind these days. Maybe he should take a trip. You know, to clear his head. Cha-ching!