People used to call them the friendly skies. Happy clouds lazily floating by as thousands of people daily take to the air and travel to destinations both planned
and unknown. Well, as we all know, recently it's been hard to keep an airplane in the air. Like the early eighties they're crashing left and right. One can hardly
walk the dog anymore without fears of a 777 trying to do its impression of a pooper scooper.
Okay, granted things are not really that bad but if you listen to the FAA then you might think Armageddon is approaching in the airfields of America.
Ever since a MD-82 outside Little Rock, Arkansas tried an emergency evacuation resulting in 11 people dying due to faulty equipment and shoddy planning the
FAA has been more than a little miffed at evacuation processes. They have sworn to solve those problems.
They have announced plans that every airliner needs to conform to the 90-second evacuation policy.
This means every living person on board needs to get off the plane in under a minute and a half.
Sounds good doesn't it?
Yeah, right.
What about mid air disasters? Instigate a plan for everyone to fall to his or her deaths instead of burning in a tumultuously hurling piece of burning and melting
metal? "Okay folks, we're going down. Time to boogie. Exits are to the left and right, yadda yadda yadda."
All right, mid air evacuation is unrealistic. I accept that but the point is taken. It is IMPOSSIBLE to evacuate a plane in 90 seconds.
Think about the math, folks. (Listening FAA?)
The average 777 carries 500 passengers
This breaks down to over 5 passengers a second. Hmm. Let's try and experiment. Count to yourself.
"One Mississippi, two Miss-." Too late, you're dead.
Not everyone is as pessimistic as I am though.
Paul Hudson, the executive director of aviation consumers, feels the 90 seconds can be achieved. However he is reserved. "All we're asking for in these
matters is that they prove that they can evacuate just once."
Wow just once, huh?. That's optimism. Well, you're going to be waiting a while Paul.
People, if a plane is going to explode on the runway it isn't going to adhere to a 90-second schedule. It will just go FOOM!
And think about this. Even if everyone did get off the plane in time the explosion would kill them all anyway because a fully fueled jet liner is going to flatten
everything with in a half a mile.
Yeah, yeah. The FAA is only trying to make airplanes safer even if their measures are unrealistic. But that's exactly the problem. This is a multi million dollar
organization that oversees the safety of anyone who travels in the air. A 90-second evacuation plan is the best they can come up with?
I'm just a writer. How about this idea? REDESIGN THE FLIPPING AIRPLANES! Sure it's more expensive but are we worried about money or lives?
Sadly, I think we already know this answer.
Perhaps if the motivation were saving people instead of giving a false sense of security then the skies really would be friendly.