Have you ever eaten California Condor? It tastes a little like Bald Eagle.
Yeah, yeah, bad joke but a point needed making. Recently California Governor Gray Davis accepted a gift from an Indian tribe that has landed him in a boiling
pot.
The highest honor the presenting tribe possesses is an eagle feather, which represents success and spiritual power. Governor Davis eagerly accepted the gift
after clearing negotiations for California and the tribe to build yet another casino.
Well, that success and spiritual power may not be enough to keep the Governor from being fined $1,000 and possibly receive six months in jail.
The Department of Fish and Game is currently investigating the situation and is interpreting the gift as one between states or nations rather than between men. If
that is the case then Davis can keep the feather as a state official. There apparently is a law that exempts governments from owning raptor parts. (That's bird of
prey parts, Jurassic Park has nothing to do with this story, sorry.)
This is the part that actually worries me.
Governments are exempt from a law that would regularly send a person to jail for half a year.
Does the term "above the law" mean anything?
Now I understand that governments need to act unimpeded in order to get a job done but no one should be above the law. That's what television shows like
Knight Rider and The Six Million-Dollar Man were all about.
The other thing that worries me is "raptor parts". The definition of raptor, as I mentioned, is bird of prey. Have you ever seen a chicken attack a small child in
the petting zoo? Chickens are raptors. They are vicious, evil creatures that deserve to be served with honey mustard sauce. It's that evil that makes them taste
so good. We all know that.
Now, considering chickens are raptors. KFC is breaking the law. They are literally invested with raptor parts. In various states of display to be more exact:
Regular raptor, Rotisserie raptor, and extra crispy raptor.
Yet no one mentions this. Why? Because feathers are frivolous, wasteful objects that serve only one true purpose (tickling people). Where as a 10 piece all
white value meal can feed America. A necessary evil I suppose.
So eat up America. And just think with every bite of those 11 herbs and spices that you are violating penal code and subject to fines and imprisonment for each
piece you chow down upon.
God I love America!