Back in July many folks wondered if I would cover the strange death of Daniel Dukes here in Orlando. Dukes is the nutcase who decided to go swimming with the whales at Seaworld. I never mentioned it because sometimes it is just too easy to sarcastically attack the dead. I prefer to concentrate on the living idiots on this world. Well, I can now happily attack this unusual subject with reckless abandon. The parents of Dukes are suing the theme park for "several million dollars" according to USAToday. The coroners report filed with the death depicted three scenarios in the "Killer Whale meet Moron, Moron, Killer Whale" introduction. One, he jumped into the tank. Two, he fell. Three, he was pulled in by whale itself.

The parents are choosing the third scenario and blaming Seaworld for the wrongful death of Daniel Dukes. What is this? The aquatic version of the O.J. case?

But to be fair, let me get my slide rule.

Yep, I thought so. According to my calculations all three possibilities require Dukes to walk approximately 100 yards, illegally trespassing the entire way to even get to tank. This simple fact alone destroys any chance of a lawsuit winning. The guy was breaking the law. But given the fact that there is a lawsuit pending shows just where he got his immense stupidity.

Folks, if anyone should be sued here it is the parents for pissing in the gene pool.

The same coroner's report also showed he had marijuana in his system.

It also mentioned his- uh; flotation device- had been bitten off. Ouch.

So the guy was literally brain dead. And Seaworld is being blamed for it?

Geez.

Now the real reason here of course they're getting the legal shaft is they are a multi million dollar organization and the killer whale, his name is Tilikum, has a past concerning dead people.

Years ago Tilikum was mating with three lady killer whales (You go, boy!) and a trainer accidentally fell in the pool.

The four whales thought, "sex toy!" and proceeded to strip, drown and kill him.

Ever since then no one swims with Tilikum except other killer whales.

The parents of Dukes don't pay attention to this. They only know that their son died at Seaworld so it must be their fault.

This is the problem with people these days. Clearly the parents are grievous but even now they have to realize it was their son's fault he died. But people don't pay attention to that. This monstrosity of money grubby, self centered, avaris riddled social epitaphs standing in line to sue the next business with a Killer Whale or really hot cup of coffee just has to stop.

I've been to the Seaworld. I know the tank Tilikum sleeps in very well. Dukes climbed over ten feet of gate and had to stealthily sneak to the tank.

The fact that they are suing and even more importantly being allowed to sue is plain ridiculous.

I say if the parents want something out of the death of their son then they book a vacation, come to Orlando, and get a couple of comp passes for a back stage pass so they can stand on the very spot their son died. Then the trainers can give Tilikum a signal to splash them.

Aside from that, shut up people and next time raise a more intelligent child.