I'm Bushed.
Lately I've not had the time to pay attention to the men (and previously women) who are vying for position to be our next sovereign leader. I've just been too busy with more personal matters like ignoring the ever-growing pile of dirty laundry behind my bed. But I recently found some extra time (I put a blanket over the pile and now cannot see it anymore.) and decided to do a little web surfing and find what makes the people who want to rule me tick.
Now, I admit it. I am a fan of George Bush. No, not the new and improved version that is running now but rather the older model. I always knew he was somewhat of a wimpy guy who didn't really want to hurt anyone but at the same time held a knife behind his back that was sharp enough to cut Good ol' Saddam down to size. Did you know the guy used to run the CIA? I think that whole "grandpa is amazed by the grocery store scanner thing" was just good old-fashioned spy subterfuge. And I'm pleased to say his son seems to be of the same stock.
According to Bush's web site, www.georgewbush.com (Wow. That's a lot of Ws) he has several stances on things like our military might that carry a decidedly spy flavor to them. For instance:
He truly proves his sneaky side with an interesting policy toward Russia. If elected he will press Russia to clearly announce what their current nuclear weapons stock is and what progress is being made at dismantlement. He mentions it three times. He never mentions what we will be doing during this time. That's pretty clever. I checked out what Russia's opinion of Bush was and they think he's a great guy. Wait a minute. He's got an entire country fooled into thinking we're going to keep our end of the bargain and take apart our weapons? Of course! Why would we want to comply with that silly policy? Not having the ability to bomb the crap out of a defenseless country is thoroughly un-American. Good move, Georgie-boy.
He also feels the men and women of the armed forces deserve higher wages. I can agree with this. Nowadays the only cash for anyone in the military is in the college fund and even then you have to wait till you're out of them. Someone once told me a grunt soldier makes less money than a waiter does. Which makes me wonder. Don't both professions do the same thing? When you get right down to it what's the difference between a bullet and a burrito? Sure one is less deadly but they both go through you at the same speed!
More importantly, he also proves that vital quality every president must possess: Waffling.
In his foreign policy statements he supports the "One China" policy which means if it has Chinese people in it it should belong to China. But he also believes there is merit in the "Taiwan Security Enhancement" theory, which says that China has no business owning Taiwan which is literally teeming with Chinese people. Wow. The guy doesn't even so much as a press pass to the Oval Office and he's already rearranging the paper clips on the desk! Even Clinton didn't do that.
And on a more personal note, he wants to bring back the old days. In the 1980's Ronald Reagan had a tax policy that gave a 10% break to married people. It was killed after Clinton got in the White House. Marriage numbers dropped soon there after. Oddly enough single parent households went up because tax breaks for kids came into play. Bush wants both. He plans to double tax breaks for the pitter-patter of little feet and bring back tax breaks for the hunka-chunka of larger ones. Maybe then we will have happier families and maybe- just maybe a little less youth violence, which by the way also went up during the Clinton years. Not to mention cigar sales. Bill, you gotta love him.
Now let it be known I'm not exactly endorsing Bush for president yet. Besides, as some of you may remember I'm pulling for Warren Beatty in a Bulworth style upset. But I admit that I like this dude as much as I did his Dad. But over the next few weeks I'm going to check out the web sites of EVERYcandidate and learn about them. I'm going to email them and tell them what I think. I suggest you do the same. I plan to write an article per candidate. Maybe if we're lucky I'll even get a quote from them. This whole election thing is supposed to be for our benefit isn't it? Well, we'll see.
-Hy