Don Quixote called it the Unreachable Star.
Captain Ahab called it Moby Dick
McDonald's called it The McDLT
And Steve Forbes called it The White House.
These four brethren of that lifelong yearning for the unachievable goal have never let it be know that the sun will set on their quest to obtain the unobtainable. They constantly strive and sweat, no matter the cost, to realize an impossible reality.
Well, at least that's how a poet would put it.
Me, I'm no poet. I just like to make fun of people and as in past articles, Steve Forbes usually has a great big red bullseye smack dab in the middle of that vampire looking mug of his. The Associated Press announced today that Steve is calling it quits again in his attempt to be the next President of the United States.
And I can't say as I'm surprised. Steve Forbes has about as much business in The White House as Phyllis Diller in a Playboy spread. Let's face it. It'd be ugly and a total waste of money. Of course wasting money is the whole point.
Over the last two failed elections, Forbes spent 66 million dollars. That's more money than the St. Louis Rams spent to get their Super Bowl Winning team combined! And the worst part is he isn't even upset about it. " I have no regrets except not winning." He said at a press conference. But I'm not so sure. If in fact if he is honest about his no regret policy then he never should have run in the first place. At least not on the Republican ticket.
I'll try not to get too political here but last election in 1996, Forbes spent so much money competing just for the ticket that his opponent, Bob Dole had to use all his funds just to get the nomination. By the time the real election came around Clinton and Gore had spent close to nothing, which allowed them to wash Dole out and by the end of the day it was a landslide victory.
Now, everyone knows it takes money to win the Presidency. Well, that and testicles. (Sorry, ladies.) But what everyone doesn't know is that money can also destroy a person's chance. Michael Huffington did it years ago. Ross Perot also. And now Steve Forbes.
What puzzles me is why?
Larry Mackinson of the Center for Responsive Politics calls this recent exit by Forbes " a spectacular example of just throwing money at an election," and " Never has so much been spent with so little in return." He also says that this will go down in the annals of Presidential Politics. Gee, I don't know. If I learned that I lost 66 million clams just to prove that everyone in America doesn't like me something's going UP an annal, not down.
Forbes just has to have a reason. Is it like that bearded old man chasing a windmill? Is he hell-bent on destroying himself just because of something that happened to him years ago? Or is he like Ahab, killing himself to get what he'll never win? I say he's more like that dreaded McDLT. Everyone in the country is on the hot side, and he's on the cold. And it pisses him off. He feels he has a message and no one is listening to him. So no matter the number of zeroes on the check he will gladly sign it away.
Still, I guess he isn't exactly applying for welfare. But there is one thing that still bothers me.
The Associated Press, in their typical wit, applied the 66 million to a myriad of examples to prove just how much money he wasted. And I think they hit on a really good one.
They said that he spent enough money to send thousands of people completely through college for free. Gee, it seems to me if Steve wanted to help the country he could have done it another way.
Don't you?
-Hy