A favorite fairy tale of mine is the little boy and the Dyke. No, this isn't a porno story. Get your mind out of the gutter. It's the cute little fable of a little Dutch boy who notices a leak in a rickety old dyke and decides to save the day by plugging the hole with his finger. Things go from bad to worse when another leak appears. The boy too plugs this hole and so on until he runs out of body parts to stick into leaky holes. I said get your mind out of the gutter, what's the matter with you?
Well, there is a situation currently that mirrors this fable rather well. It is in Miami, Florida and also involves a little boy. Only this time the boy is the proverbial dyke and the woeful savior is everyone else on the planet. By now I'm sure everyone is familiar with Elian Gonzalez and his clown parade of guardians. This kid has so many issues he needs his own library wing.
Recently the government has found itself with a big finger in the boy. Look, we've already talked about this gutter thing so stop it, will ya? They have announced that the law clearly states that Elian is an illegal immigrant and should go back from whence he came, the island nation of Cuba. Simple. Open and shut, right? Well, not really. Seems the City of Miami, the American relatives of the child and seemingly every Cuban-American this side of the border is telling the U.S. to go to hell, they aren't giving the little tyke up. In fact the only person on the U.S. Government's side is their old enemy, Fidel Castro. Wow, Irony can be pretty ironic sometimes.
Anyway, there was recently a candle light vigil of sorts in Miami where hundreds surrounded the little boy's adopted house with flammable objects in a show of support. Television News trucks and helicopters were everywhere. It was Camp Elian to the Nth degree. And everyone was taking advantage of his or her fifteen minutes of fame. Lopsided interviews were spreading faster than the Ebola virus. People were saying the Clinton Administration and their left wing thug, Janet Reno, were trying to brow beat the boy and punish him for wanting to be an American.
They threatened the meager presidential candidate, Al Gore with total support for his opponent come election day if he didn't do the right thing and go against the very government he is trying so hard to win leadership over. And it appears to have worked. Al announced yesterday that he supports citizenship for Elian Gonzalez and that the U.S. is dead wrong.
Okay, that's it. Time for a reality check.
First off, I like this kid. He's a smart cookie. While the grown-ups above him are bickering and giving sound bites, he is touring Disney World and playing Pokemon on his Gameboy. He's being carried around on people's shoulders, raising peace signs like a tiny Richard Nixon. He sees the excitement, the cameras, the reporters, the mobs, and he knows they are all there for him. And he's eating it up. The only way for him to be more famous than any other Cuban on this Earth is to play for the New York Yankees.
But he isn't an American citizen. He has no American rights. He came into this country illegally and should be deported, according to American law. However cute the kid is, he is nothing special, politically speaking. There are hundreds, even thousands of children everyday from Texas to California who are sent back to Mexico because they entered this country illegally just like Elian. No one ever holds a vigil for them. Why should Elian get any royal treatment?
Now don't think I'm a horrible person. I feel bad for the kid. I don't want him to go back to Cuba and his father. It sucks there. Cuba is a great place to go for a vacation but living there is the pits. It's worse than New Jersey. The standard of living is hideously low, the average annual salary of a family there comes out to less than $500.00, and their leader looks like the love child of Santa Claus and the Ayatollah. What kid would want to go back to that? What sane human being would want to SEND a child back into that?
But that's exactly what has to happen. Now if Dad wants to come here (legally I might add) and apply for citizenship then I'll even help him move but until that moment, Elian has no business being here. His relatives have no business interfering with United States law. And the City of Miami should be reprimanded for out and out disobeying their elected duty to defend the sanctity of its borders.
Bottom line, the citizens of the United States should set down the candles and just sit this one out. Let the law do its thing. There is a thing that separates us from other nations. It's called Due Process and it swings both ways. Due Process is what determines that Elian is here under wrong pretenses and should be rejected access to the country. However at a later date, Due Process will allow him back into the country. He needs to play ball in other words, even if it isn't with the Yankees.
The controversy here is understandable. Elian Gonzalez is not just a little boy now; he's a symbol. He is not a symbol for freedom at any cost or family relationships or even governmental oppression. He's a symbol of "Exceptions to the rule". All to often in this country, when we think there is something wrong we try to find the exceptions to the rule. We say, "yeah, you're right BUT-" and then the real fireworks begin. Well, Elian's fireworks show is about over. And he needs to go back. Not because his Dad should have custody and not because of international relations. He should go back because he didn't belong here in the first place.
The United States is a great country. Millions of people want to come here as a result of that. Certainly we are big enough to handle one little boy. That isn't the point. A nation is only as successful as its citizenry. We all voted illegal immigration to be a bad thing years ago and that it needs to be defended against. The government is doing just we asked them to do.
Now if we can only find a loop hole to get rid of that Ricky Martin…