** This message is a paid public service announcement by The Hy5 Council on Mundane Information Gatherers**
Have you ever been caught in a situation where you needed to jump from a motorcycle to a car at high speeds? Has a loved one ever needed detailed step by step instructions on what do to if their parachute fails to open properly? Do you have problems with Black Bears, Killer Bees, or Charging Buffalo? If your answer to any or all of these questions is yes then I have the thing for you!
The Worst-Case Scenario Handbook!
Yes, The WCSH is the handiest tome you will ever need for your dire straits emergency needs. Consider this: You are walking down the street and some nut decides to start shooting at you with an AK-47. What do you do? Simply duck and cover like any other poorly educated schmoe? In fact, no you run away in a zig zag fashion and hide behind something bulletproof! And that is exactly what The WCSH will tell you to do.
This fabulous compilation of nifty life saving facts and instructions will pay for itself ten times over in the field. Say for instance that you are in the grocery store buying dinner for the family. And Wham! A Mountain Lion appears above you on top of the cereal rack. Instinct would tell you to run but in fact this is the wrong thing to do. You want to grab two big bags of economy-sized cereal and hold them out stretched and yell in a low voice. This will intimidate the Mountain Lion and it will bound off to aisle twelve where the children are playing with the el cheapo toys and games!
What would this amazing book be worth to you? $10.00? $50.00? How about your life? This fantastic periodical will actually save your life more times than you can shake a burning stick at if you just follow the simple to read step by step instructions! Put yourself in this life threatening position. You need to jump from a moving car as it speeds toward a cliff and certain death. Step number two in The Worst-Case Scenario Handbook is "Open Door". Now where would you be without this Jim-dandy of a paperback? That's right! Careening through the air at terminal velocity like Thelma and Louise. And let's face it, who really wants to be like Thelma and Louise?
No folks! With the aid of The WCSH in your back pocket or purse you will survive countless other emergencies that could come up at any moment! Like:
How to escape quicksand
How to land a plane
How to break down a door
How to fend off a shark
How to identify a bomb
How to deliver a baby in a Taxicab
How to survive a sword fight
And best of all…
How to jump from a building into a dumpster and
How to run across the top of a speeding train and get inside!
Simply put this is the greatest conglomeration of informational words and phrases since The Bible! And it could be yours! Act now! Order today…your life may depend on it.
** Once again this message is a paid public service announcement by The Hy5 Council on Mundane Information Gatherers**
Hiya folks, I just had to get that out of my system. And here is the best part. This book is real! I recently purchased a copy of this thing and it is the most entertaining and informative book I've ever read. I highly suggest it. See, I am soon going to find my happy ass in Alaska and I want to be like Anthony Hopkins in The Edge. So I got this book and have been reading it everyday. A great find!
The book is published by chroniclebooks and can be found at www.croniclebooks.com and is written by two daredevils, Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht. Check it out. You won't regret it.
See you next week!
-Hy